i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
