We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
