So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
