i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
