How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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