I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize