i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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