My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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