Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
