The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
