9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize