Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
