I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
