the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize