NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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