Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
