They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
