she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
