I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
