i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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