New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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