That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
