i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize