Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
