I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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