i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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