I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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