do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
