Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
