Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
