Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
