You're completely useless in the revolution.
its not stalking. its research.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
