I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
