I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize