its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
