I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize