I showed him my bush... on skype.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
