I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
