maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize