Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
