ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
