at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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