you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
