Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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