just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
