they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize