I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
