So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
