I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
