Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
