yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
