I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
