thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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