Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
