I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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