I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
