so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
