Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.

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(818): View more from California

Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.

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(716): View more from New York

her body is proportioned like a family guy character

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(360): View more from Washington

No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.

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