Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
A bitchslap is in order.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize